Happy Living a New Life Folks!!

The reason why I wrote the title as above is because its officially the start of a new life. Whether on my point of sights or other people's. Truthfully, I am quite scared. Terrified to be honest. Why? Because firstly, there will always somethings wrong in your first time. And starting a new life means starting over equals to first time. Haha logic T,T

Well, to be honest, Im quite disappointed with my self because I did not live up to my expectations when I first started deg. Although Im quite hopeful that I'll excel in my degree years but that is just not the case. I mean, everybody can say they try their best and what matter most is that they try their best. Honestly, I think that if I didn't live up to MY OWN expectations, it straight away means that I havent been trying my best (Im a logic girl like that). Haha.

Now I have a chance in pursuing my master in mechanical engineering. Yeah it does sound tough and I freaked out seriously. When my dad suggest me to went ahead and continue my study, I was like, "Nah, I dont think so", "Maybe later" or a straight answer "No". But I prayed to Allah and asked for the best and it seems that I have found myself in this path so yeah, maybe its good for me, its just I didnt know it yet.

Im becoming such a cry baby like when I enter foundation years and live away from my parents for the first time. The reason is mainly because I was exhausted. I had merely a 2 day break (emphasize on that 2 DAY) jumping from degree to a master student. And as scary as the word "jumping" sound, its messed up too. Why, its too much procedure and not to mention, no guide at all. Not to being ungrateful, Allah have helped me through many situations in this enrollment as master student matter, still I havent grasp anything quite yet. My life(mood) is upside down for the moment and I kinda hoping it to turn to normal after CNY InshaAllah. The second reason is that I usually mainly depends on people to make decisions, plans for me. And now, no one is here anymore. True that Miss B is here and Im grateful for that but my other friends are continuing their own career journey and etc. And its like they are doing it effortlessly like they know what they're doing, while here I am continuing my studies like I havent had enough of that already. I just hope a good decision-maker girl InshaAllah.

Overall, Alhamdulillah it was a great 3 days since Monday. I have a nice and cool room just dont include its unprivacy-ness and its annoying wifi (well I've had it worst, its better than nothing), a cool 2nd year taking biotech engineering roommate, a nice smelling shower foam of Johnson Baby which is surprisingly cheaper than my usual cheapest Shokobutsu shower gel, my cool supervisor for my research studies (hopefully the pays are cooler), and all these free time I have in hand. Haha.

Hope to update here real soon. You know what they say, Your blog gets interesting-er when you're bored-er (although idk who says that tacky line) (me) (I guess). Haha chiawww

Rough Update

Assalamualaikum!

heyya! finally have some free time to manage my forgotten blog. (actually, tk free sgt lah)

Anw, tgh try order dominos pizza for the family sbb birthday abg. tapi tak tahu pulak macam mana nak set pukul berapa hantar. 

sorry. I know bahasa semua dah tunggang terbalik but what to do. I'm in a rush.

fast update about myself, 

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Im now officially not a first class student anymore which means my CGPA is not and absolutely not 3.5 above anymore. kinda sad tapi nak buat macam mana. my own fault. my GPA graph from first year at Gombak turun ciuuuuuuu (bunyi roket) tak naik naik dh.

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secondly, Im now a part time worker. Wuhuuu!! its my first time working and more close referred as my debut in becoming a lecturer. I actually havent made up my mind in what to become in the future but i do have a plan. Continue my studies in PhD and masters then jadi lecturer. Or stop at degree and jadi engineer. but we can only plan. Allah decides. 

lupa nk cakap, i work as a tutor and grader for 250 a month, ok la tu kan? haha

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I finally, manage to receive a scholarship. yeay!!! I receive JPA not long ago thanks to all the dua's, prayers, emails, calls. Haha. Sorry pegawai JPA. i was desperate T.T 

when I enter school and CFS, i never planned on taking any financial assistance, seriously. I never feel the need to. when mom says mintak so just mintak without any expectation or usaha what so ever. Because what I always keep in mind is that theres a whole lot people who need it more than I do. but to my ignorant, I rely too much on my parents. When my mum start financing my big bro for his education kt uniKL about 4000+ in 1 sem so rasa macam diri ni membebankan mak even UIA 1 sem 1000+ je. And thats how I decide to apply for scholarship and Alhamdulillah my prayer was answered :)

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I went to Cambodia haritu with my family. Before that I went to Bukit Tinggi Indonesia with my mom and fellow principals (Awkward =,=) 

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lastly, i really think I should started drawing again. 

follow me on instagram. or dont. whatever. I dont care. 

Ive become a negative person day by day. please tell me its only a PMS. 

Good Bye

Have a nice day peeps!

P/s: going back to Gombak tomorow. end my mid-semester break already. please tell me its a dream. TT,TT

Pp/s: jangan lupa makan tengah hari kawan kawan

Recapp

Assalamualaikum :)

Hai hai. As the title goes, recapp. Let's see if we can recapp the whole semester in this short post. My guess is NOT but oh well, let's just try.

The latest post was about final exam. So yeah, unfortunately, i can't and tak mampu maintain pointer 3.5 keatas or in other words, dl but manage to get 3.3 ke 3.4 tah lupa. So my pointer drop drastically like very DRASTICALLY!! Tapi takpe lah, salah sendiri. I didn't enjoy that subject so much and pretty much all of the quizzes I burned T___T

Oh well, benda dah lepas. Sem ni rasanya takde apa pun. Maybe sbb post ni ditulis NOT during exam week, so I'm like very relax now and forgot what I felt during the final exam week so yeah whatever.

Result keluar maybe 29 January and masih tak rasa lagi nervousnya so let's just let fate decides.

Tak berapa tahu nak cakap apa lagi kat sini, kekok pun ada talking alone. Dulu ok lagi, buka blog je idea mencurah2, apa nak tulis, apa nak kongsi, apa nak cerita. Hehe

Ok bye.

P/s: I have no idea who will read this so let's just say sorry for leaving this blog bersawang for such a long time
Pp/s: HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR!!

whatthee?

Hai. hehe
Malu acually lepas tulis post hari yg emo tu.
Di kesempatan ini, nak ckp la sorry kepada sesiapa yg terasa. thats just how i feel. takda ckp sesapa incompetent or whatever okay.
hee

Happy Final Exam :)

Final is near.

Actually takkan tertulisnya blog ni kalau tak stress, tension or in the middle of breaking down.
Here nak cakap I got more or less 1 week for my final. Ahhh freaking scary and really hope I can maintain my pointer. Kat hujung tanduk je dah tu.

Wuuu.
Good night!! ;)

Hari yang emo

Harini tataw asal rasa nak emo jep.
Hari start dengan pukul 2 still waiting for a group member to submit her work that is the discussion section for programming subject. Lastly aku yang buat that report. And tak boleh tidur, golek2 katil until I can't even remember if i sleep. Subuh at 6 then terus tak tidur. But then kelas 830 cancel baru lah tidur.

Lepas tu petang tu lepas tutor, kena marah dengan "Habis kenapa suruh org datang?!" and I was like "memang nak bagitahu tapi phone habis bat nak buat cemane". Suddenly I remeber masa dulu dia punya phone selalu mati when we're in the middle of conversation, tade lah marah dia sampai macam tu. Haih.

But then I give up and ikut plan dia. Then 1 more incident happen. I thought of only joking and kidding. I take a little makanan dia tapi dia cakap "Wah nak habiskan makanan kita ke?" like I'm a monster atau someone berpenyakit yang nak makan sikit makanan dia, dia terjangkit. Damn I'm crying.

Then mencebik tak ikhlas macam everything I do semua salah. Fine. I keep my anger, stay silence and study. Dia start hentak2 barang and blame me for saying dia berkira. Blaming me for buat dia rasa bersalah and i lost my patience. I'm sorry for that.

Balik bilik borak dengan akak bilik pasal kucing dia. Ya Rabb teruk sangat kucing dia kena kanser kulit kat bahagian mata tu. And suddenly teringatkan Acu. Cried for a while then Solat Isya' and cried again on the sejadah. Then nak study and revise for math tapi teronline FB and ternampak section notes. I read back the notes I wrote 4 years back. Untuk MR, untuk my friend. My so-called bestfriend yang sekarang dah tataw mana pergi, I miss them, I miss MR, I miss Acu. Azim said "Cepatnya 4 tahun berlalu. He still keep on listening to the song I gave him to cheer him up 4 years back. And I cried again.

Starting to write this entry, our (MR and me) song play kat playlist. "With me - Sum 41." I cried again. I wrote what I feel here cause I know no one will read this blog. This is the only safe place to say out my mind and cried while writing. If someone really care they will find their own ways knowing me more not because I shared this on Twitter or FB.

I really am sorry for everything and I just hope I'm somebody's someone. Always feel like there always someone else they prefer over me.

Ya Allah, Kau jagalah hati aku. Aminn

P/s : I might be crying today while writing this entry. but I know in the future when I read this back. I'll be like "what an emo me before". I hope.
Pp/s : May Allay ease everything.

Dikeheningan malam Jumaat

Its currently 1.16 Friday morning. Hehe. Just finish doing my assignment.  Baru tahu sebenarnya yang programming ni susah rupanya. Masa kt cfs dlu tk ada la susah camni rasanya. Tp nak buat hok guano makin kita besar makin banyak la dugaan pelajaran. Kan hehe ;)

Haih. Cerita pasal pelajaran, hari Rabu lepas exam berderet intro dan thermodynamics. This pemberitahuan is CLEARLY buian utk membangga. Thermo langsung takleh jawab. And when I say langsung tak, I really mean LANGSUNG TAK. Sedih la sangat. Down yang teramat masa tu. Tapi I'm all at fault. Sikit from lect sbb almost all my classmate thought the exam only covers until chapter 3. Or so I thought? But then masuk until chapter 5 and guess what  I only know it at 1.15pm when the midterm start at 2pm!!!!
My fault pulak, sebab cuti, badan yg dh terbiasa cuti and rehat tetiba kena study memang la susah. Keke. Dah la cuti kat Legoland bukan calang2 hahaha. Anyway, rasa menyesal tapi nak buat macam mana. Life has to go on yedok?? Heee(>,<)

Hmmm, before ni kan sy ada post editted pic of me and my brother funny kan? Hoho nak puji diri sendiri latu. Just this afternoon, dpt tahu 1lagi feature cymera that is it can make your sad or not-smiling face smile, your small sepet eyes bigger, yourface body skinier and vanishing all your dark spots. Eheee. Bila try buat kat muka sendiri, lawak tergolek2 gelak sbb diri sendiri tawu muka sendiri kan. But then I was wondering, bukannya tak pernah nampak sesape edit gambar sendiri bgi besar mata, kurus bdn and claim the person in the pic is you. Yeah technically BEFORE you edit it.
First what is so great having your eyes as big and bulat as bola tennis tu? Ciptaan tuhan tu dah sempurna, tunjukkan kita yang sebenar and if you really shame of your body feature then don't show it at all. Its not that hard.  Ada this one artist picture that shows the eyes was beyond normal size . And in real life, mmg artis tu mata besar comel cantik tp bila dia buat gambar dia camtu r macam, kenapa perlu. You already beautiful just the way you are. So yeah taknak gitaw sape. :p

Apa lagi nk cakap. The clock shows 1.48am. I really should sleep sbb eok pagi ada automotive lab huiii. Aaaaaaaa. Busynya nak balik rumaaaaahhhhhhhhhh rlex je takleh ke :(
Sekian from me. Great Friday night peeps ;)

P/s: you, I hope you do well for your midterm tomorrow don't be like me eh.
Pp/s: doa tu tersangat penting when all you can do is regret and hope.
Ppp/s: april fool. Eh? :p